S
saymore_admin

Being In My Feelings About Moving Back to California

#blog #comingback #changes

Moving back to California has been one of the most defining transitions of my life. As January fades and February settles in, the rush of resolutions gives way to quieter reflections. It’s in these moments that I often think about the times I’ve left something behind, only to find my way back to it.

 

The first time I moved out  west, I was chasing sunshine, adventure, and the promise of freedom. And it delivered! California didn’t just offer beautiful landscapes; it gave me the space to discover who I was. Away from everything and everyone I knew, I had to ask myself: “What do I want?” Not what I’d been told to want, but what genuinely mattered to me. And the answers surprised me.

I realized I didn’t want the traditional life I had always imagined. In California, I met people who questioned the same things I did–women who weren’t sure about having kids, who pushed back against societal expectations, who fully embraced their sexuality and autonomy. It was refreshing, liberating, and necessary. I cannot imagine who I would be today without that shift.

But even as I was finding myself I felt like something was missing. I wanted to build something real, something that felt like mine. And to do that, I needed a reset.

 

So I made the tough decision to leave. I moved back home to Florida to start my business–the seed that would eventually grow into saymore.

 

Moving back in with my parents was harder than I expected. I had just started feeling like the most me I'd ever been, and suddenly I was back in a space that brought up old patterns and family dynamics I thought I had outgrown. It felt like rewinding when I was supposed to be moving forward. But I knew it was a necessary step.

 

Starting a business from scratch wasn’t just a logistical challenge; it was an emotional one. Every day, I had to remind myself that I was planting seeds for something bigger, even if all I could see in the moment was dirt. There were days it felt like nothing was happening, like I had hit pause on my life while everyone else around me was fast-forwarding. But growth isn’t linear, and taking a break sometimes feels like failure when really, it’s all just part of the process.

 

I always knew I would come back to California. There was never a question about that. But surprisingly, coming back wasn’t as seamless as I imagined. I expected to step back into my old life but instead, I found myself standing in the middle of something familiar that no longer fit me in  the same way.

 

Nostalgia is tricky like that. It makes you miss versions of yourself that don’t exist anymore. I found myself longing for the person I was when I first arrived on the West Coast years ago: the excitement, the fresh start, the sense of possibility. But I wasn’t that person anymore, and that was both unsettling and empowering.

 

Coming back has been an adjustment in ways I didn’t expect. It’s been a mix of collision of past and present —a reminder of who I was and proof of how much I’ve changed. I can’t just pick up where I left off, and that’s okay. Maybe that’s the whole point.

Moving west taught me to be honest with myself. Leaving taught me resilience. Returning has taught me how to hold space for every version of myself–the one who was searching, the one who was building, and the one who is still figuring things out.

Maybe you can always come home, but you can’t ever go back. Maybe you’re also not supposed to. Life has a way of bringing us full circle, not so we can relive the past, but so we can see how far we’ve come. I’m proud to say that every part of my journey—the highs, the lows, the moments of doubt, the breakthroughs—has shaped me into the person I am today.

 

Leaving a place you love and coming back to it can be confusing, but maybe life’s only certainty is that it will rarely look like what we imagined. Personally, that has been revealed to me over and over again.

 

Have you ever returned to a place that deeply shaped you? What was it like to revisit it as someone who had grown and changed? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Show more
2
L
Lazy_Cat3140

Thank goodness for being LGBTQIA+

#lgbtq #hope #community #coming out #storytime

I just have to say... coming out changed my life. I was in a straight-passing relationship for 5 years completely ignoring my sexuality because I was in a committed relationship. Being out just wasn't a priority at the time. When that relationship ended in early 2020, and Covid-19 hit, I said to myself... "what the hell am I waiting for??" I came out to my parents that summer as "not-straight," because I knew I was on the spectrum somewhere, but didn't have the language I do now. Over the last few years, I learned where I fit in the community and am happily in love with my non-binary partner. I am now a loud and proud pansexual woman striving to unlearn trauma and uplift my confidence. I am so thankful that I felt brave enough to confront what I knew all along. <3

 

With everything going on in the world right now... everything feels very heavy. That said, I sincerely believe that engaging with community is not only the best way to feel grounded, but to also feel safe, which is a large concern for many of us right now.  So glad there is a place where I can voice these thoughts and invest in people who share my mindset! 

Show more
2
Anonymous

The world seems so heavy right now

#sad #over it #hopeless

I feel like our world is literally on fire. It's a scary time to live in America right now if you are a woman, a person of color, and part of the LGBTQ+ community.. I know we need to continue the fight but I am already so tired...

Show more
4
S
saymore_admin

Finding Good on the Internet in 2025

#2025 #newyear #newme #resolutions

Real talk: I went off social media the day after the election results, both Instagram and TikTok. I didn’t delete my accounts—I just removed the apps from my phone. Still, it felt like a big deal. A cleansing. It’s been over a month now, and my screen time consists only of the NYT Games and texting my friends. Research shows social media can be addictive (here, here, and here, to point to a few), and I honestly feel like I deserve a sobriety chip or something. Without constant stimulation and doomscrolling, I truly feel lighter.

 

Around election time, I had just finished Kara Swisher’s new book, Burn Book. Swisher is one of the most well-known journalists in tech, and she’s been covering Silicon Valley since before Y2K. She’s seen it all. Most of the digital innovations we rely on today started with idealistic intentions ("we're here to change and connect the world") which, in hindsight, feels pretty ironic.

 

As a woman in the U.S. in 2025, encountering rage bait on social media doesn’t take much effort. The disgusting language constantly surrounding women, our bodies, and our rights is so inflammatory, it often feels unreal. As a words person, it really gets to me. I’ve always worked hard to be more careful with my words in a world that feels like it’s becoming more callous behind a screen. I understand the power and the danger of language.

 

But we know all of this already. Countless articles have been written on this topic. What I want to explore here is something different: Finding internet positivity. How can we do more of that? What I miss the most about my social media hiatus is the comment section. Not the angry rants, but the kind, funny, and uplifting comments. I miss the genuine connections I made, both with friends and strangers. The people who share compassion and positivity on the internet, and the comment sections that support them. Even with the peace I feel now, I notice the absence of this part of social media in my life the most.

 

A few things I did to accomplish this... 

 

  1. Curated my feed - I kept that algorithm on a tight leash and only followed accounts that made me giggle. I recommend muting any and all other profiles that might just make you feel bad about yourself. 
  2. This one isn't for everyone, but I love posting more interactive content on my stories…I would ask my followers/friends what new songs they were listening to, or recap my week in a silly way. I had random interactions that made me feel like I was in a community, not isolated. I also engaged more with their stuff too – a fun win-win situation!
  3. And of course, I took social media breaks when the above wasn’t working for me. Go outside. See people in real life. Even watching a tv show is better than scrolling through the noise!

In a world where keeping you online is the business model, it incentivizes companies to feed you content that enrages you. The more upset you are, the more you engage. And the more engagement they get, the more ad revenue. The most ridiculous, inflammatory posts get the most attention because they’re so outrageously awful. For a while, I tried to curate my algorithm to showcase the compassionate side of the internet. But I had to keep it on a tight leash, and honestly, that just wasn’t sustainable for me.

 

After reading Swisher’s book about the men (yes, all men) who shaped the tech industry, I was fired up. One passage that particularly struck me was this:

 

“A truism began to form in my brain about the lack of women and people of color in the leadership ranks of tech: The innovators and executives ignored issues of safety not because they were necessarily awful, but because they had never felt unsafe a day in their lives. Their personal experiences informed the development of unfettered platforms. And in turn, this inability to understand the consequences of their inventions began to curdle the sunny optimism of tech that had illuminated the sector. Financial success was proof of their talents, which was like the old cliché of starting on third base and thinking you hit a home run.”

 

The internet is powerful and it matters what we do with it. Certain groups are more impacted than others. I thought the internet was the great equalizer and yet, these days it could not be more manipulative. Financial success is one thing, but there are other measurements of success and failure that outweigh the dollar signs.

 

Some days, I feel naive for still believing the internet can be good. But I’ve seen it do good so many times—in both my personal and professional life. It keeps connecting me to people who care. It brought me some wonderful mentors. It led me to start saymore. When you put yourself out there, when you ask for support or look for answers, you often find them. Someone else is always searching for the same thing. And in real life, when I talk to people, I still find so many who still feel isolated and alone. 

 

Like anything, the internet is what you make of it. The tech giants at the top thrive by feeding us the ugly, the upsetting, the divisive. We all miss the harmless dances and puppy videos, the lighter side of the internet. But there’s more to it than that. We can shape this endless digital landscape into something better. The original tech visionaries were right: they changed the world, they connected people. But the next step is about transforming that connection into something deeper, more meaningful. It’s about fostering compassion, offering solutions, and creating a space where people feel connected and supported. That’s the real power of the internet. Wherever possible, let's use the internet for good.

 

In 2025, I’m committed to keeping this corner of the Internet a space for good. What do you need from me to keep this mission alive? What are some ways you go about finding internet positivity and keeping yourselves sane? I’d love to hear in the comments.

Stephanie

Show more
0
S
Smart_Fox1797

Trying to put myself first

#i’m the best #self love

Lately, I’ve been making more of an effort to take care of myself—lifting weights, focusing on my health, and just trying to do more for me overall. It feels good to be putting in the work, but I’ll admit, it’s still hard. There are days when it’s tough to stay motivated or when self-care feels like just another task to check off. I’m learning to be patient with myself and celebrate the small wins, but some days are definitely easier than others. How do you all balance taking care of yourselves while managing the demands of daily life? Any tips for staying motivated when it gets tough?

Show more
1

Please sign in

Welcome to saymore — your online mental wellness community. Sign in or sign up to start exploring the compassionate side of the internet.


or


Forgot password?

I don’t have an account yet. Sign up

Top posts

Wanna show us some love?

Top communities