Pros and Cons of moving back in with your parents

If you had told me at eighteen, when I first moved out of my parents’ house, that I’d be back home a decade later, I would have guffawed. That would’ve felt like hitting rock bottom. At twenty-eight, I imagined myself winding down with a glass of wine in my small (but charming) apartment, texting my latest crush — not living under the same roof I grew up in.

Besides the usual feelings of shame and failure that comes with moving back in, there are a lot of other dynamics at play. But don’t be too hard on yourself – nearly half of adults aged 18-29 live with their parents. Recent news has highlighted that millennials are the first generation to be worse off financially than our parents were at our age. With rent prices at an all-time high, homeownership increasingly out of reach, growing mountains of student debt, and rising inflation, who can realistically afford to live on their own?

My point is, don’t beat yourself up. But if you are living at home or considering it, I want to give you a heads-up – and share some advice on how to navigate it better than I did.

Pro: Saving $$$

The biggest perk is that  you will save a ton of money – though it might come at the cost of your mental health. Financial reasons are the most common motivation for people to move back home, especially in today’s housing market. After I quit my job and decided to invest my savings into saymore, it just made sense. Saving $15k to $30k a year is no small feat.

Con: Lack of Your Own Space

Depending on how you grew up, prepare for living at home to completely change how you view  your autonomy, especially if you’re used to having your own space. I have lived in various apartment complexes with all kinds of noise, but nothing compares to the irritation of  hearing your parents’ constant footsteps (why are they always loitering?), their groans as they get in and out of the recliner, and the never-ending “what’s new?” questions day and night. You think I’m exaggerating, but just wait.

Pro: Family Time

Living away from my parents had its perks, but it also came with its downsides. During a crisis or a rut, my parents were always just a phone call away, but there’s no substitute for home cooked meals, open arms, and a quiet place to rest my head. Since I moved thousands of miles away at eighteen, I’ve missed out on a lot of time with them. Now, as they get older, I’m grateful for the time we spend together – time I wouldn’t have had otherwise. Knowing they won’t always be around makes these moments even more precious.

Con: Family Time

I don’t think we’re meant to be around our family 24/7 - but that’s just me. Boundaries start to blur, and before you know it, everything becomes a family activity. Every day, it feels like my parents ask me if I closed the garage. Yes, the garage is closed. Why are we still talking about it? Dinners often revolve around the  most depressing news from their aging family and friends. And unsurprisingly, weaponized male incompetence is more apparent than ever, as retired women continue to do most of the cooking and cleaning while retired men still struggle to figure out which laundry setting to use.

Pro: Convenience & Comfort

Whether you’re still in your hometown, or your parents have become snowbirds in Florida or Arizona, there’s a certain convenience and comfort to being in a smaller city. Older folks love strip malls, Publix, and long walks. Life is simple here, and finding a food joint open later than 10 p.m. feels like a miracle. With limited traffic, freshly mowed lawns, and neighbors who wave at you across the street, suburban life has its perks.

Con: Same Town, Different You

The hardest part for me is being somewhere I have outgrown or I no longer belong. Suburbs and communities built for older generations can make it incredibly difficult to connect with old friends or make new ones.  It’s also hard to stay motivated when you know living at home is only temporary. The experience can feel suffocating and isolating – young people need to be around their peers, not explaining the difference between YouTubeTV and cable to their parents.

The truth is, moving is one of the most stressful life events, and moving back in with your parents can feel even more so. But remember, this is only temporary. And also, keep in mind that you’ll probably never get this time back with the people who raised you. Whether you’re saving money or going through a tough time, heading home for a while is not something to be embarrassed about.

I don’t know yet how everything will work out for me, but I’m hoping Future Steph will look back with a laugh and  think, “Hey, that wasn't so bad.” And just like that, my mom is calling me down to help with dinner – tonight’s menu is spaghetti and meatballs. Gotta run!

Feel free to share your own experiences or concerns about living with your parents on saymore. What was the thing you were most nervous about when moving back home? No wrong answers – vent away!