I spent the month of January so angry. So anxious. I’ve been trying to get our saymore therapy matching tool off the ground in Southern California, not realizing I have to build the trust first (obvious yes, but also…selfishly… annoying). This month, I sued my apartment complex and won, but the experience was awful and the judge was an asshole. I deleted my social media because it was truly making me sick. People died needlessly… again. Consequences never happened… again. I didn’t write the blog post that month because I was mad, and we have enough anger and aggression in the world right now.

So this month, I wanted to point out moments in my life, with strangers or friends, that showed true moments of care. The tenderness that is just people, when every day feels like people are the enemy.

It’s my dry cleaner telling me to be careful on Sixth Ave - there’s so much construction and nails are ruining tires because they’re left out in the street. It’s the building where my two new queer friends live, filled with single older women who meet at the pizza shop every Friday just to gather. (I have invited myself and it has been the best new ritual in my year so far. Last week at dinner, one woman said she had never heard of Bad Bunny before he was announced for the Super Bowl Halftime Show and now she’s his biggest fan - doesn’t know a lick of Spanish.)

It’s my tax lady telling me she noticed my name on her schedule that day and was so happy to catch up and we only meet once a year. It’s the guy from Syria who came to fix my TV, and told me he loves meeting people, even if they’re a little racist to him at first. It’s getting on a call with a colleague halfway across the world who just got a new job and has debilitating periods where she cannot move for days. When her work told her she still had to come into the office, she said no. Now they let her work from home a few times a month.

It’s the way things change quickly. It’s the way we do care for each other. It’s putting up saymore signs in my neighborhood right under the “Abolish ICE” signs. It’s the walk to breakfast when Lisa is selling plants out of her hair salon and I buy a new pothos for my home.

I want you to hear this from me. The internet is going through a kind of death. Yes, I know… ironic coming from an internet company. But the bots are taking over, and we don’t know what is what anymore, who is real. Really let that sink in — over half the interactions online are bots now. Companies create robots to keep their “engagement” and “traffic” and “news” spinning, spinning, spinning. They have to force opinions and news through machines because not enough real people are buying it anymore. None of this feels real because it is literally not real. It’s time to start over. It’s time to let it all burn.

I want to leave you with one last story from COVID times - stay with me. I’m from Omaha, Nebraska, and when COVID hit, my sisters and I all came back to Omaha to quarantine. We were living in different parts of the country, and it felt like such a rare circumstance to be together again. During that time, I went on a lot of walks like many of us did. I walked the same route every single day, for months.

By summer, we all went back to our respective cities. When Thanksgiving rolled around, I returned to Omaha and one day went on my good old COVID walk again. At one point on my walk, a man came running out of his house and said, “Hey! Where have you been? I haven’t seen you on a walk in a while!” A stranger I had never met, who had simply noticed me walking everyday. I told him I didn’t live there anymore, that I was just home for COVID for a bit, and he said, “Oh good! I was worried something happened to you.” I assured him I was okay and we laughed and waved goodbye until the next time I saw him on my walk. That interaction has stayed with me for so long that I honestly feel like I imagined it sometimes.

I tell that story a lot when I describe Nebraska, but really it’s about all of us, humanity. People notice each other. We don’t always treat each other with care - of course not. But there is so much care there.

And I won’t say, “you just have to look for it,” because that’s not always true. The point is, I am telling you: there is more humanity when you leave your house than you know (and on saymore, too). There is hope…not because of AI, not because of bots… but because they can never replace us or replicate us. And if nothing else, that is the only thing I want you to hear from me this month.

A picture of me in front of my apartment building after winning my court case!! Small claims court baby!

the saymore flyer going around town!

support for Minneapolis from the West Coast

hey!! I recently have been getting super into astrology since I moved to CA which I know is pretty basic. But growing up in a strict religious household, astrology is like a breath of fresh air. I am not ready to give up on the ~universe~ having a role in my life but God is a man and a bad one imo. So I'd love to grow my little community of astrology peeps and I started Chani's book on it which i love and it is hitting me in all my feels!!!

I dont know man taking a chance here. My good friend who is a girl well we just got in a big fight. She feels like I am jsut like all the rest and it sucks. Recently she didnt like some things I have said about the current state of stuff or maybe what I didnt say. It didnt help that a friend of mine last time we went out made a comment about the girl he is talking to and that shes not the hottest girl in the room - i know i know that was bad. I want things to resolve and I want us to stay friends but she really does feel done with me at times adn maybe she is.

Bruh facebook is such a chaotic place these days that I cannot deal with it. I dont even go on facebook but gd they are so stupid. I recently logged on to check fb marketplace and woowwww I was blown away by the losers in high school and the loser boomers gobbling up misinformation like its candy, are they really that gullible? its embarrassing. so I got in a fight with some people on fb - i couldnt help myself and now i feel even weirder than I did before. and im scared other people saw or my family and theyre gonna talk about it behind my back bc i am the "crazy lib" I know i have to have these conversations especially in my inner circle aka family and friends but it sitll feels so angering and a lost cause. 

i know i did this to myself but i just needed to vent!!!

I dont know how older people lived through wars because it is seriously feeling like shit is hitting the fan. I cannot believe it honestly. I keep trying to seek out old people and what they think of this time and their reactions run the gambit from apathy to complete shock. It is a little disheartening to be honest. 

I am seeking comfort and trying to do all the right things by getting involved in my community I guess but it does not feel like enough. And now I am so paranoid because social media is like all bots now???? WHAT??? so yeah just wanted to check in with these people because you guys don't feel like bots....yet...LOL