It’s been a while since I’ve been in CBT and with all of my current life transitions, I got to a point where therapy felt Necessary (covid, moving, new job, new relationship, grief, etc). Now that I’m back to weekly sessions, I feel both discouraged and exhausted. How does one amp themselves up for welcoming change and being consistent with therapy? I’m 28 and going back over my life history is neither fun nor relieving anymore. Would love some words of encouragement on this one!

At saymore, we believe that every individual's story is unique, and that diversity enriches our collective experience. We are an online community dedicated to providing a safe and supportive space for individuals from all walks of life, where we celebrate the richness of nuance in our shared human journey. 

If you have not personally experienced a situation presented on this site, please be extra mindful of your engagement. 

I feel like it i just something that women are supposed to do and I do think I lack the "maternal gene" tbh. Someone once gave me advice to not have kids until you cant stop thinking about the idea of having kids ie wanting them so badly. 

I am only 29 and dating someone casuaslly for now haha but I do wonder about it. I would say it is split between my married friends if they are planning to have kids or not which is refreshing in general. I dont know just thinking out loud

How do I stay bisexual even when I am dating a man and presenting as a straight couple? A straight person... i feel lost

I am an over 60 female, who is reflecting on my life and what advice to give to my daughters.  I don't believe women can have the career and be a good mother.  Raising children you just have to be there for them all the time, because you can't schedule "OH you want to open up and talk now" with your children.  As a stay at home Mom, your children want you home when they arrive home from school.  They are not going to talk to you but they just need to know you are home.  So you be a stay at home Mom, and then if you want out of the marriage you have nothing to fall back on.  So you get a divorce and now you get a crappy job and your self worth falls in the toilet.  I am a confident  female and I couldn't go down this road.  I would love to hear others' thoughts.

If you're an overthinker, do you ever feel like self-rejection plays a huge role. Like whenever I apply for a job. I immediately feel as if I'm not good enought or aren't meant to apply. Sometimes wanting to doing something automatically turns into hesitation mode because I tell myself Im not meant for this or I probably won't successed

Agree?

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I've recently started working with a psychologist. And after each session I feel so devastated...for the first hours. And then it's like I start to feel the pain literally coming out.  Can you imagine? I've been hiding it carefully for a long time, and then I decided to bring it out. 

I notice that I've gotten quieter. Sometimes I feel like I need space for the pain to come out.

As my psychologist says, if the pain is real, it is bound to go away, don't hide it, notice it, live it, so it has every chance to transform into something beautiful (like love).

So...now I'm noticing. And I am surprised at how much pain is hidden in me, hidden in corners. I've already started to familiarize myself with it, and yes, it's not so scary, and the truth gradually turns into something beautiful if you live it.

With this post I wanted not only to share my feelings, but also to remind those who are in therapy that you are very brave and strong. It's hard, but why hide something that can be cured? 

I meditate but I never know if I should start medicine or something. Pros and cons?

As I get older, I'm using my mind in strictly "logical" ways more and more.

Knowledge has overpowered the other aspects of my mind. I take things far too seriously, and it's making me miserable.

Any dreamy, far-reaching plan immediately falls victim to criticism and doubt. I don't allow myself to have fun, do art, or be playful.

I remember having so many great ideas for entrepreneurial plans that I would pursue. Some of these plans turned out relatively successful, some failed. But now... I feel like I've lost the spirit. When I was younger, I would start things believing it was possible. Now I look at those grandiose, far-reaching, dreamy ideas, and I talk myself out of them. "Oh, it's too late, somebody will think of it and implement it before I do." "Oh, that can only be done if you have tons of time and money." "Oh, that would only work until such and such roadblock and then it would be a dead-end and all that time and energy wasted." I read somewhere that if you don't start a business and "make-it" by a certain age, as you get older the chances of you doing so plummet.

I also read in another book, forgot which, that as you grow older, you learn so many limiting things that weigh you down until it's a problem, then you're just trying to unlearn the things to get back to where you started. As a child, you make friends without even second-guessing yourself. You pick things up off the ground with perfect form. It may look silly squatting down but it's the way that will least likely hurt your back! We knew how to do it the right way intuitively until someone laughed at us for looking silly and we changed everything.

Maybe I'm answering my own question here... but does anyone have any great words of wisdom or practical advice for regaining the powerfully confident mind we all remember having as children? Perhaps starting small?

can people share their fertility journey here? Just started IVF and feeling a lot of pressure and nerves.  Don't know what the rest of this is going to look like

In the big wide world of the internet, there is no topic untouched. A trend on social media of “I have never had an original experience” is both a relief and a panic. I find myself leaning towards relief at knowing I have had the same experience no matter how specific or how broad it is among people from all over the world. But in times of turmoil, isolation, and social anxiety, I think many of us do not see ourselves reflected in the internet, specifically the current state of social media platforms.

Being on the bottom half of the millennial generation I was over “self care” culture aka schedule a meditation and have a salad. I am what my doctor calls a high functioning depressed person, which I assume means no one would know I had a perpetually low level of serotonin. I took pride in that until I didn’t. I wanted people to know that I didn’t wake up like this, I carefully crafted my days, my routines to make sure I was set up to be on when I needed to be. To keep me out of the dread soaked evenings. That’s when I went looking for people like me. 

One of my most recent ‘unoriginal experiences’ was quitting my job, leaving my city, and moving back in with my parents for a much needed reset.  I only told people on a need to know basis but it quickly became a conversion starter - “Good for you” was the response I got the most, believe it or not. People started opening up to me about their stories, their crises, all backgrounds, and all ages. I felt so silly for ever thinking “No one knows what this feels like” when people kept seeing themselves in my eyes. It was exactly what I needed. 

How saymore came to be is here but the short version is I wanted a digital place where I could go and be curious. I wanted a space that looked like me but held nuance and room for me to ask questions. A space that lived in the gray and strayed from the mainstream. Honest storytelling. Genuine solutions. Questions with different answers. 

If we have never had an original experience and we want to know more, I want saymore to be that online platform, that digital safe space. If we are all connected more than we could ever see on social media, I wanted saymore to be the platform people go to. And maybe, just maybe, if we all remember how alike we are, how human we are, then we can really make this place (gestures vaguely) a better place for everyone.  

What’s an experience you’ve had that you felt like only happened to you? I think you’d be surprised…I encourage you to say more.

A few popular topics on saymore lately…

Just starting therapy? You're not alone here

Struggling being a mom these days? Some people feel that way too here.

Women don’t get to dream like men do… what do you think? Look here.

Want to chat about mental health and social media? Continue the conversation here.

All through my life I've had low self confidence and i was okay with it up until last year, I made a few extremely bad choices, that deeply affected a friend of mine, that stemmed from the fact that i have no self respect whatsoever. And i keep putting up with things hurting me because I'm afraid that's all I'll ever get in life. I realise the root of the problem but i don't know how to change it.

I am in my early 20's and I've started going to the gym to start somewhere and it's working but I'm worried that when i go back into the world, I'd still be affected by the people around me.

There are a lot of problems i have to fix right now, but this is constantly running in my head because I cannot keep living like this.

Any advice would be appreciated, Thank you!

Why am I always anxious or sad? Even when I have some stability, family is fine, I have a lover, friends. I feel like nothing is gonna fix me and that's just sad. And to be always sad is so boring to be honest.

saymore spent some time talking to our poc peers during black history month and we'd like to hear more!

I’d like to say as of right now I identify as straight, and to this day I’ve only ever had sex with/ and interest in women. But I have a close friend since second grade, who is gay, who’s been there for me at my lowest.

When I was close to overdosing after a breakup I had with a girl, he made sure to make time to stay with me just to make sure I was ok, and even tried to cheer me up ab the whole thing. This was on multiple occasions during my lowest drug addiction as well. He makes time whenever he can to cheer me up at any low point I have.

I made the firm decision that he’s someone that I want to live with more than any woman, despite me being straight. Is that unusual in any way?

Happy to be here in this space with all the wonderful women's health proponents 💖

Ok so I think that is my main one and it makes me sound needy but I am really just sensitive in arguments. I know some people get along better than others but I am not one to just blurt out hurtful things. My ex was like that and it destroyed my confidence which took a full year to get back to myself.

I have been dating again and find that most people are not communicating well or accurately. It makes me feel a bit crazy and not sure if it is worth my energy. I also feel really mature for my age and dont feel like therapizing people right now. 

Idk if this makes sense - I just want to hear more from other people who have that as a love language and how they make realtionships work...platonic or romantic.

I am seriously considering moving just because I have been on the east coast away from my family for almost a decade now. My sister is married and pregnant. My parents arent getting any younger and I am wondering if it is time to head back closer to home. 

The thing is I love where I live. but i have a good work from home job and no real relationship/family tying me out here. But I am happy. 

Is this the time where I just need to head home? When is the right time?