I am pretty annoyed because I am currently not on insurance and living with my parents again. I need to renew my antidepressants but my doctor won't take my out of pocket situation (???) and I am getting nervous. Has anyone ever used anything else to get their meds?
In the big wide world of the internet, there is no topic untouched. A trend on social media of “I have never had an original experience” is both a relief and a panic. I find myself leaning towards relief at knowing I have had the same experience no matter how specific or how broad it is among people from all over the world. But in times of turmoil, isolation, and social anxiety, I think many of us do not see ourselves reflected in the internet, specifically the current state of social media platforms.
Being on the bottom half of the millennial generation I was over “self care” culture aka schedule a meditation and have a salad. I am what my doctor calls a high functioning depressed person, which I assume means no one would know I had a perpetually low level of serotonin. I took pride in that until I didn’t. I wanted people to know that I didn’t wake up like this, I carefully crafted my days, my routines to make sure I was set up to be on when I needed to be. To keep me out of the dread soaked evenings. That’s when I went looking for people like me.
One of my most recent ‘unoriginal experiences’ was quitting my job, leaving my city, and moving back in with my parents for a much needed reset. I only told people on a need to know basis but it quickly became a conversion starter - “Good for you” was the response I got the most, believe it or not. People started opening up to me about their stories, their crises, all backgrounds, and all ages. I felt so silly for ever thinking “No one knows what this feels like” when people kept seeing themselves in my eyes. It was exactly what I needed.
How saymore came to be is here but the short version is I wanted a digital place where I could go and be curious. I wanted a space that looked like me but held nuance and room for me to ask questions. A space that lived in the gray and strayed from the mainstream. Honest storytelling. Genuine solutions. Questions with different answers.
If we have never had an original experience and we want to know more, I want saymore to be that online platform, that digital safe space. If we are all connected more than we could ever see on social media, I wanted saymore to be the platform people go to. And maybe, just maybe, if we all remember how alike we are, how human we are, then we can really make this place (gestures vaguely) a better place for everyone.
What’s an experience you’ve had that you felt like only happened to you? I think you’d be surprised…I encourage you to say more.
A few popular topics on saymore lately…
Just starting therapy? You're not alone here
Struggling being a mom these days? Some people feel that way too here.
Women don’t get to dream like men do… what do you think? Look here.
Want to chat about mental health and social media? Continue the conversation here.
Advice as a person of color regardless of industry...what would you tell someone?
saymore spent some time talking to our poc peers during black history month and we'd like to hear more!
If you need a therapist, get one . It’s a sign of strength, not weakness. You owe it to yourself. It’s the loving thing you do for you. If you have a therapist, keep your appointments! I am basing this on experience, as I was in therapy for two years to get out of anabusive relationship. Some appointments I did not want to keep because I had nothing to talk about… Those appointments ended up being some of my most successful sessions! So keep your appointment, even when you don’t have an agenda. You just may surprise yourself with new and powerful discovery. Hope this helps
Why am I always anxious or sad? Even when I have some stability, family is fine, I have a lover, friends. I feel like nothing is gonna fix me and that's just sad. And to be always sad is so boring to be honest.
I firmly believe the best people to speak on a topic are those that have lived it.
In that same vein - I believe those are also the people that can help find solutions.
Saymore is a community based platform for us. For the people by the people. As we continue to grow, I trust that all of us here will do our best to keep this space safe, supportive, and curious.
Thank you for being here.
Shouldn't most friendships go both ways?
Let's rewind. Flashback to middle school. I'm starting to play a competitive sport and simultaneously have been kicked out of my friend group for reasons unknown. Competitive sports carried on throughout high school and having friends didn't exist. Friday nights were spent with my Dad at the town movie theater and then crying afterwards during pizza dinners due to having no friends and feeling bad for myself (looking back I am so thankful for this time with my Dad rather than hs parties in the woods). College happens, I'm on a sports team, and have an amazing roommate. We do everything together and she becomes my best friend at school. I also start to make other friends and realize people in my high school were just pieces of **** and it wasn't my fault I was alone. Graduation hits, and my roommate and I decide to live in different cities. I kept the texting up for the first year, was always the one to reach out first and was always inviting her to my city for visits and always organized the plans. It's been over two and 1/2 years since graduation and she has not once invited me to visit her city and she has visited me about 4 times now. She also never has made any effort to introduce me to any of her new friends and will leave me on read for weeks if not months. I know she still considers me a best friend but I can slowly feel us drifting apart. I have just given up reaching out at this point and know she will just pop back in every month or so, so I just wait. I know she is responding to other people in a timely manner but I just don't understand why I'm always on pause. Do some friendships just fizzle or is ok to fight for a friendship to stay strong?
This past weekend me and my boyfriend decided to go to a break in our relationship so we can focus on ourselves he needs to focus on his classes and grades and I need to focus on going to college but he wants us to meet and date other people during the break and I asked will we getting back together and he said "Yeah if I prove to him that I have matured and have my stuff together so I'm thinking that will it be possible?
My husband and I have had 3 sad deaths this year. His nephew’s 5 year old daughter, our 48 year old father of 3 lost his 15 year battle w a brain tumor, and then our 60 year old friend’s sudden death. Would love some advice on how someone else is dealing with deaths also.
Thanks
Until recently, I have always kept my childhood a secret. Even still, I tell half-truths and dull my memories to make listeners more comfortable. So maybe here, on this platform and in this community, I can tell a whisper of that truth.
When I was 5 my mom told me that she was molested by her father, my grandfather. I remember the moment clearly — the lavender smell of my mom, the soft touch of my unicorn sheets, and the awful sound of my mom sobbing while I held her in my tiny, little arms. Did you know that if kids learn about sexual abuse at a young age they can take on the attributes of children who have actually been sexually abused? Well, it’s true. Until I was about 10, I wouldn’t change in front of anyone, I was uncomfortable with physical touch, and I had nightmares that my grandfather was touching me inappropriately. This was the start of my night terrors. Although I was young, I remember I wanted help but my mom told me not to tell anyone about my grandfather. I kept the secret until I was 19.
Around 8 is the first time I saw my dad hit my mom. There are no excuses for laying your hands on another person, but my mom was saying awful things to my dad — pushing, pushing, pushing. My dad snapped. He punched her cheek, which swelled up into her eye. My mom told me to carry my three year old brother into another room, and take care of him — who was supposed to take care of me? The next day, everyone pretended it didn’t happen.
From 8 until I was 20, I witnessed my mom or dad physically abuse the other every other month. When my dad left after hurting her, my mom would hurt me. She slapped me — hard — across the face throughout that time. She pulled my hair, yanking me across the ground. She spit on me. My night terrors morphed into these moments.
My mom physically abused my dad and I, but demanded our love. If we didn’t give it to her, she hurt herself. I was 10 when I found my mom on the ground, with bloody wrists and a knife next to her. I wanted to call the hospital, but she wouldn’t let me. She attempted to kill herself again when I was 16 — that time it was my 9 year old brother who found her. And yes, finding my dying mom is a night terror I still experience.
The night before my high school Track Senior Night, my mom and I were fighting. I decided to run away — at least to get out for some air. I sprinted out the door barefoot, and ran down the pavement until my lungs were on fire. When I came back, my mom kept repeating to my dad that I was a disrespectful bitch. I could tell my dad was getting angrier and angrier. He grabbed my neck and threw me on my bed. His grip on my neck became tight until I could no longer breathe. That’s when I started hitting him, telling him to get off me. He let go and slapped my inner thigh hard enough to immediately leave a red handprint that raised off my skin. The next day, my neck and thigh were bruised but I still had to walk on the field with my parents, and pretend I was okay. I qualified for states that day in the high jump. Sometimes the weight of my fiancé on top of me triggers this memory — it reminds me of the weight I felt on top of me that night. Maybe this memory plagues my waking-self so much that it does not appear in my night terrors (working theory).
When I first got to college, I was not ready to deal with my childhood trauma. I would mentally groan when people would say, “tell me about your family!” I suppressed these feelings, and was desperately trying to find control. And more selfishly, I wanted people to care about me. These desires developed into an eating disorder. I lost 70 pounds over four months. My college threatened to make me take a semester off or get my shit together (liability and what not), so I was forced into counseling. That was the first time I talked about my trauma, and its lasting effects.
This is when I realized that it was not normal to have horrifying dreams that leave you panting/crying/throwing up. All my therapists have said that working through each reoccurring memory while awake, dulls the effect of the memory at night. I tried working through those memories— it’s too damn hard. I used to think that I was weak for shying away, but what I didn’t know is that I just needed some medicinal assistance (not cannabis). Four years out of college, I found a psych that recommended Prazosin. I take it in the morning and night, and my night terrors have essentially disappeared. I still work through those tough memories, but I am able to sleep and not encounter my demons every night.
SO, this was just a very longwinded way to talk about night terrors, and the beauty of modern medicine. Please let me know about your similar experiences, and what made you find some peace.
I've recently started working with a psychologist. And after each session I feel so devastated...for the first hours. And then it's like I start to feel the pain literally coming out. Can you imagine? I've been hiding it carefully for a long time, and then I decided to bring it out.
I notice that I've gotten quieter. Sometimes I feel like I need space for the pain to come out.
As my psychologist says, if the pain is real, it is bound to go away, don't hide it, notice it, live it, so it has every chance to transform into something beautiful (like love).
So...now I'm noticing. And I am surprised at how much pain is hidden in me, hidden in corners. I've already started to familiarize myself with it, and yes, it's not so scary, and the truth gradually turns into something beautiful if you live it.
With this post I wanted not only to share my feelings, but also to remind those who are in therapy that you are very brave and strong. It's hard, but why hide something that can be cured?
Is it wrong of me to not want to show up to my deceased fathers Veterans Memorial Service in my boyfriend's vehicle that has a busted wind shield broken out side window ,and busted taillight covers and, a broken out back window, ? My ex- boyfriend did this damage so it is because of his jealousy over my new relationship but id rather not show up in a car with duct taped windows ect.we argue about this everytime the subject comes up.looking for your opinion.thank you.
Am I wrong?
Ok so I think that is my main one and it makes me sound needy but I am really just sensitive in arguments. I know some people get along better than others but I am not one to just blurt out hurtful things. My ex was like that and it destroyed my confidence which took a full year to get back to myself.
I have been dating again and find that most people are not communicating well or accurately. It makes me feel a bit crazy and not sure if it is worth my energy. I also feel really mature for my age and dont feel like therapizing people right now.
Idk if this makes sense - I just want to hear more from other people who have that as a love language and how they make realtionships work...platonic or romantic.
I feel like it i just something that women are supposed to do and I do think I lack the "maternal gene" tbh. Someone once gave me advice to not have kids until you cant stop thinking about the idea of having kids ie wanting them so badly.
I am only 29 and dating someone casuaslly for now haha but I do wonder about it. I would say it is split between my married friends if they are planning to have kids or not which is refreshing in general. I dont know just thinking out loud
If you're an overthinker, do you ever feel like self-rejection plays a huge role. Like whenever I apply for a job. I immediately feel as if I'm not good enought or aren't meant to apply. Sometimes wanting to doing something automatically turns into hesitation mode because I tell myself Im not meant for this or I probably won't successed
Whenever anyone says that dating sucks nowadays, a lot of people agree with it, with both sides (men and women) struggling with different issues.
Men will talk about having a quantity issue, where we'll talk about getting nothing but constant rejection in spite of building ourselves up to be a person with a lot of attractive qualities.
Women talk about having a quality issue where they're always getting offers, but all these men are typically not very good for reasons that can include hygiene, dishonesty with intentions, etc.
The thing is that these 2 things are pretty contradictory, since a lot of women are talking about how the bar is the floor and having basic hygiene and manners puts you way above everyone else, and men are talking about how they've put in a ton of effort to way exceed the bar and still aren't getting anything.
Why are these 2 groups of people finding each other?
I’d like to say as of right now I identify as straight, and to this day I’ve only ever had sex with/ and interest in women. But I have a close friend since second grade, who is gay, who’s been there for me at my lowest.
When I was close to overdosing after a breakup I had with a girl, he made sure to make time to stay with me just to make sure I was ok, and even tried to cheer me up ab the whole thing. This was on multiple occasions during my lowest drug addiction as well. He makes time whenever he can to cheer me up at any low point I have.
I made the firm decision that he’s someone that I want to live with more than any woman, despite me being straight. Is that unusual in any way?
