Happy to be here in this space with all the wonderful women's health proponents 💖

I used to love my fancy corporate job. I felt so important, so proud. Just seeing the silver lettering of this company’s name on my résumé made me feel like I had made it. I was special, part of an elite group of employees who had managed to snag a spot in this globally-respected corporation.

But then, slowly, that feeling started to shift. That initial pride that once filled me began to feel hollow.  There were moments, tiny ones at first, that chipped away at my enthusiasm. And what started as a bunch of "oh no" moments led me to one Wednesday afternoon when I just…quit. Nothing ceremonious. No drama or fireworks. I was just done.

Looking back, it’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment when things started to change. Maybe it was the constant feeling of being on a hamster wheel, always running but never quite getting anywhere. The more I achieved, the more there was to do. Over time, no amount of work or accomplishment seemed like enough.

Then, I began to understand something more insidious. Because I was young, spouse-less, and childless, my time was seen as flexible. To my employer, my “free” time wasn’t mine at all—it was theirs. I became available by default. Sure, I was being paid, but the real currency wasn’t my salary; it was my time, and the boundaries around it seemed to vanish. There was no clock-out time. It was this never-ending loop of availability and output.

If any of this resonates with you, if you’re reading this and thinking, “Wow, I feel that too”-- let’s take a moment to check in. How are you feeling? Do you feel stuck on the wheel, too? Do you think balance is even possible?

Here’s the thing: work wasn’t just work for me anymore. It had become life. And yet, I was supposed to act like I could “balance” the two. It was the subtle, constant expectation that we should love our jobs enough to blur the lines between personal and professional. We’re told we can "have it all"—the perfect job, a thriving social life, time for self-care. But at what cost?

The Illusion of Balance

Here’s the hard truth: the concept of work-life balance is a myth. It’s not about finding equilibrium; it’s about constantly negotiating how much of your personal life you're willing to sacrifice. For the longest time, I used to think I could juggle it all—that if I just managed my time better or worked harder, I could make space for everything. But no matter what I did there was always another email, another deadline, another “quick favor” that turned into hours of work. The lines between my life and my job and personal life became so blurry they practically disappeared, leaving me drained day after day.

Ironically, this constant striving for balance just led to more burnout. The system is designed for perpetual motion, for constant availability. We’re told that if we just manage our time better, work a little smarter, we’ll figure out this mythical balance. But that’s just another burden we carry. 

When I finally quit, I felt guilty. But in the quiet that followed, I felt another shift. I wasn’t fighting for balance anymore; I was fighting for boundaries. I started to ask myself what I wanted my life to feel like. The scary thing? I had no idea. I’d been so wrapped up in the grind that I hadn’t thought about what I truly wanted outside of it.

Redefining Success and Balance

It’s not all doom and gloom and there’s a positive ending to this story, I promise. Now, after stepping away and taking time to reflect, here’s what I’ve learned: success doesn’t look the way we’ve been taught. It’s not about collecting fancy titles, climbing the corporate ladder, or glossy LinkedIn profiles. Success is about how much space you have in your life for the things that matter to you. It’s about the people you spend your time with, the projects that light you up, and yes, even the time you take to rest.

For so long, I believed that my worth was tied to my work. That if I could just push harder and juggle everything, I’d reach some kind of perfect balance. But here’s the thing: balance isn’t about splitting your time evenly between work and life. Sometimes, balance is found in knowing when to let go of the idea that you need to juggle everything in the first place.

So, if you’re reading this and feel trapped, if you’re starting to dread Monday by the time Friday rolls around, I’m here to tell you: it’s okay to step off the wheel. It’s okay to redefine what success means to you.

Take stock of your life. What do you really want? What makes you happy? And most importantly, what are you willing to let go of to get there? Balance might not be about perfectly splitting your time between work and personal matters. It might be about realizing that you don’t need to keep up with someone else’s journey or the traditional definitions of success that have become so deeply-ingrained within our culture. And that’s totally okay. I make a conscious effort to take breaks. Whether it's going for a long walk outside, catching up with friends over a game of pickleball (my current favorite), or sticking to my therapy appointments, these moments are essential for self-care. Stepping away from the screen and getting out of my own head helps remind me that my life is being lived.

Remember, you have the power to create the life you want, one where success is defined by how much joy and fulfillment you have, not how much work you can cram into a day. Don’t be afraid to take that step back, reevaluate what truly matters to you, and chart a new path forward.  

Because sometimes, balance isn’t about finding equilibrium—it’s about choosing to live a life that feels right for you.

 If this post resonated with you, drop a comment below. What are some things you’ve done to reflect, navigate change, and plan for your future? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Someone was telling me about their friend getting molested, and I said "I got molested."

It got me to thinking about molestation and who has been molested.  I was molested by a neighbor boy, who was very tall and strong for his age.  Fortunately, for me it only happened once.  

Pros and Cons of moving back in with your parents

If you had told me at eighteen, when I first moved out of my parents’ house, that I’d be back home a decade later, I would have guffawed. That would’ve felt like hitting rock bottom. At twenty-eight, I imagined myself winding down with a glass of wine in my small (but charming) apartment, texting my latest crush — not living under the same roof I grew up in.

Besides the usual feelings of shame and failure that comes with moving back in, there are a lot of other dynamics at play. But don’t be too hard on yourself – nearly half of adults aged 18-29 live with their parents. Recent news has highlighted that millennials are the first generation to be worse off financially than our parents were at our age. With rent prices at an all-time high, homeownership increasingly out of reach, growing mountains of student debt, and rising inflation, who can realistically afford to live on their own?

My point is, don’t beat yourself up. But if you are living at home or considering it, I want to give you a heads-up – and share some advice on how to navigate it better than I did.

Pro: Saving $$$

The biggest perk is that  you will save a ton of money – though it might come at the cost of your mental health. Financial reasons are the most common motivation for people to move back home, especially in today’s housing market. After I quit my job and decided to invest my savings into saymore, it just made sense. Saving $15k to $30k a year is no small feat.

Con: Lack of Your Own Space

Depending on how you grew up, prepare for living at home to completely change how you view  your autonomy, especially if you’re used to having your own space. I have lived in various apartment complexes with all kinds of noise, but nothing compares to the irritation of  hearing your parents’ constant footsteps (why are they always loitering?), their groans as they get in and out of the recliner, and the never-ending “what’s new?” questions day and night. You think I’m exaggerating, but just wait.

Pro: Family Time

Living away from my parents had its perks, but it also came with its downsides. During a crisis or a rut, my parents were always just a phone call away, but there’s no substitute for home cooked meals, open arms, and a quiet place to rest my head. Since I moved thousands of miles away at eighteen, I’ve missed out on a lot of time with them. Now, as they get older, I’m grateful for the time we spend together – time I wouldn’t have had otherwise. Knowing they won’t always be around makes these moments even more precious.

Con: Family Time

I don’t think we’re meant to be around our family 24/7 - but that’s just me. Boundaries start to blur, and before you know it, everything becomes a family activity. Every day, it feels like my parents ask me if I closed the garage. Yes, the garage is closed. Why are we still talking about it? Dinners often revolve around the  most depressing news from their aging family and friends. And unsurprisingly, weaponized male incompetence is more apparent than ever, as retired women continue to do most of the cooking and cleaning while retired men still struggle to figure out which laundry setting to use.

Pro: Convenience & Comfort

Whether you’re still in your hometown, or your parents have become snowbirds in Florida or Arizona, there’s a certain convenience and comfort to being in a smaller city. Older folks love strip malls, Publix, and long walks. Life is simple here, and finding a food joint open later than 10 p.m. feels like a miracle. With limited traffic, freshly mowed lawns, and neighbors who wave at you across the street, suburban life has its perks.

Con: Same Town, Different You

The hardest part for me is being somewhere I have outgrown or I no longer belong. Suburbs and communities built for older generations can make it incredibly difficult to connect with old friends or make new ones.  It’s also hard to stay motivated when you know living at home is only temporary. The experience can feel suffocating and isolating – young people need to be around their peers, not explaining the difference between YouTubeTV and cable to their parents.

The truth is, moving is one of the most stressful life events, and moving back in with your parents can feel even more so. But remember, this is only temporary. And also, keep in mind that you’ll probably never get this time back with the people who raised you. Whether you’re saving money or going through a tough time, heading home for a while is not something to be embarrassed about.

I don’t know yet how everything will work out for me, but I’m hoping Future Steph will look back with a laugh and  think, “Hey, that wasn't so bad.” And just like that, my mom is calling me down to help with dinner – tonight’s menu is spaghetti and meatballs. Gotta run!

Feel free to share your own experiences or concerns about living with your parents on saymore. What was the thing you were most nervous about when moving back home? No wrong answers – vent away!

pictured: fresh twenties steph vs twenty-nine yr old entrepreneur steph

I've been saying for years that I cannot wait to be in my thirties. Now, having just entered the last year of my twenties, I find myself still eagerly anticipating this new decade. It's not that my twenties were bad—in fact, they were transformative. But I’m ready for what comes next. In this next decade, the opportunities feel endless… a healthy and committed love, the potential for a family of your own, and the career confidence gained through years of late nights in PowerPoint. Personally, I’m ready to move on to more peace, less struggle.

And that includes finding the courage to do more, experience more, and say more. (See what I did there?) 

That’s what I hope for all of you who’ve come to the saymore community. 

Embracing My Own Journey

As for me, I've never been one to experience life gently. A close friend once told me that I “make my life harder than it needs to be,” and I have to admit, they were right. But it's because I've always wanted to understand myself. I've put myself in many different situations to get to know myself better, whether that meant moving to new cities where no one knew me or exploring my sexuality and discovering that I'm queer.

The big moments like travel and career changes are significant, but it's the little moments in between that truly defined my twenties. They can be beautiful even in their despair. Here are a few core memories from my journey:

• Drinking with my friends–the right people–at a bar, and laughing when a girl I had a crush on asked for my Snapchat. I thought, what is this, 2012? (Or maybe I ditched Snapchat too soon?)
• The body dysmorphia that comes with womanhood…Is it my period? Is it my luteal phase? Or is it just me, and my belly has always been this soft...
• Converting to menstrual cups over tampons even though you are absolutely screwed if you get stuck in a porta potty while needing to change that thing.

These experiences, both the best and the worst, are all part of the natural ebb and flow of life. They’ve taught me that beginnings and endings are a constant, no matter your age. Here are some lessons I've learned along the way that I believe are timeless and relevant whether you're in your twenties, thirties, or beyond.

Disillusionment with the World 

It's normal to become disenchanted with how the world works. Realizing that systems often fail and that equality and justice are still aspirations rather than realities can be disheartening. But this awareness also empowers us to strive for better. A few years back, I remember my landlord keeping most of my security deposit for no good reason and feeling completely robbed. What was I to do - hire a lawyer?! That felt way out of my realm. Ultimately, I just had to cry a bit and cut my losses.

Heartbreak is Inevitable

Heartbreak, both platonic and romantic, often feels like the end of the world. The pain is real and intense, and there’s no set timeline for healing. It’s okay to take your time to move on and to feel deeply about the people in your life. Everyone heals on a different timeline. In my own personal heartbreak journey of lost friends and love, the book Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton made me feel far less alone in the grief.

Existential Dread is Normal

We all experience moments of existential dread. Whether it’s the Sunday scaries or a full-blown anxiety attack, these feelings are part of the human experience. A walk, a good night's rest, a post on saymore, and a chat with a friend can work wonders, even if just temporarily. 

Changing Your Mind is Empowering

It’s powerful to change your mind, your job, your city, or even your perspective. Embrace the ability to evolve and make new choices. This is your life, and you have the agency to shape it. Find your favorite podcasts or books that empower you to try something new. I like the podcast, We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle. 

You Can’t Do It All

It’s important to recognize your limits. The pressure to do everything can be overwhelming. Allow yourself to rest and reject the productivity culture that leaves you depleted. Do your best and let that be enough. You’ll have some wins, like leading that big meeting with execs. And some losses, like butchering one of the exec’s names and sweating through your blouse. Don’t worry, you’re not the first and you won’t be the last.

Final Reflections

As I prepare to enter my thirties, I realize that I’m still learning and growing. Each decade brings new challenges and opportunities for self-discovery. The beauty in that? We can always start over. 

If you have any twenties fallacies or lessons to share, please let me know in the comments. This journey is something we all go through, and each story adds richness to the collective experience.

Take a look around, join our conversations, and let me know how you’re doing. 

Here’s to embracing imperfections at any age and constantly learning life lessons. Cheers to the next chapter!

Hi everyone,

Welcome to the saymore blog! I'm Stephanie, the founder of saymore, this virtual mental wellness community. When launching saymore, I wanted to create a space where people can engage in nuanced, meaningful conversations and support one another. 

Today, I want to talk about something super important—voting. With November steadily approaching, using our voices to make a difference by voting in the general election is crucial.

You might feel a bit disillusioned or overwhelmed by the current political climate. I get it–it’s a weird time. For many, the American flag might not symbolize the same ideals it once did. But between Millennials and Gen Z, we make up the largest percentage of eligible voters in this general election. Our generations care deeply about social issues and making a positive impact, but it can feel like our efforts are futile when faced with the vastness of the challenges we want to tackle.

​​Just last night, I was talking with my girlfriend and asked her which social cause she felt most passionate about. I listed a few examples: intersectional feminism, queer rights, gun control, healthcare for all, education. She couldn’t choose just one and we ended up passionately discussing each topic! We shared a laugh, realizing how difficult it is to focus on just one issue when so many are important. The vast access to information makes it nearly impossible to ignore these matters, many of which are literally about life and death.

Turns out that in most of my conversations with loved ones, there's a recurring theme of feeling swamped by the volume and variety of issues. Emotions are high; change feels like it takes forever. The gravity and sheer amount of information out there can be paralyzing. It’s easy to feel that as one person, your vote doesn’t matter. Or that maybe, opting out of voting is easier because you don’t feel knowledgeable or affected enough. But your vote does matter.

Voting is one of the most powerful tools we have to shape our future. Even when the system is frustrating, your vote is a way to stand up for what you believe in, to push for progress, and to hold those in power accountable. Every vote counts, and it’s okay if you don’t know much about politics. Let’s have conversations and help each other.

I’ve compiled a list of reasons why your vote in this general election matters, especially now:

Your Vote In the General Election Is Your Voice

We’ve lived through significant events like the Russian hack, the insurrection, and the Supreme Court overturning long-standing policies. These include major policy changes that infringe on marginalized communities’ basic rights and freedoms. Events like these show how much impact a single election can have. It’s scary, but it also means that your vote can be used for good.

Don't Let Apathy Win

Older generations often rely on young voter apathy to maintain the status quo. Prove them wrong! Today’s youth are the ones who will live with the consequences of today's decisions. Everyone’s active participation is essential for creating a future we want to live in. By showing up at the polls and voting in the general election, young people send a powerful message that we’re engaged, informed, and determined to shape a better world. 

Progress Takes Time

Remember, progress isn’t always linear. Former President Obama (side note, I miss him) once said that progress can often feel like steps both forward and backward. That’s why we have to keep going. Every movement in history has faced setbacks, but history shows us that peoples’ persistence and resilience ultimately drive progress forward.

We’re Not Alone In The Fight

In my work to champion wellness, I meet so many dedicated people across industries —law, finance, social work, education, healthcare—who are working tirelessly to make the world a better place. Change is happening, even if it’s not always visible or looks turtle-slow. Every day, countless people are making differences big and small to work toward a fairer, more just society. By voting in the general election, you can contribute to a collective movement for positive change.

As a virtual wellness community, we at saymore believe in representation, freedom, equality, and justice. While no politician may perfectly align with all our ideals, not giving into ignorance and apathy is so important. Many heroes before us have fought for our right to vote, and we owe it to them and to each other to keep exercising that right. Vote for yourself, and if not, then vote for others who can’t.

Empowerment Through Community

One of saymore’s core values is creating a sense of community where we can discuss nuanced topics in a safe space. Voting is another way to empower ourselves and those around us. When we vote, we help ensure that our communities are represented and that our collective voice is heard. So, view saymore as another space to explore these issues together, ask questions, and share your experiences with a like-minded, diverse community. Knowledge is power.

Overcoming Feelings of Hopelessness

It’s easy to feel discouraged or even hopeless at times when the challenges ahead of us seem overwhelming. But remember, every major movement in history has faced similar feelings of despair. But through solidarity and persistence, people have still achieved remarkable changes. By voting, you signal that you still believe in the possibility of a better future. And that is such a beautiful and important thing to keep putting out into the world. 

A Call to Action 

So, I encourage you to please vote this November. Our voices matter. Share your thoughts, your feelings, and your motivations with us in the comments. Why are you voting, or why are you struggling with the decision? Let’s discuss and support each other through this. Use saymore’s virtual mental wellness community as a way to exchange ideas, ask the hard questions, and push for meaningful discussion.

And be sure to join any election threads to share your POV, ask questions, and/or learn more about the issues at stake this November and beyond. 

Your experiences and perspectives matter, and by sharing them, we can continuously learn from one another and grow stronger as a virtual mental wellness community.

Thank you for being part of our community, and for contributing your valuable thoughts, experiences, and questions. Let’s make our voices heard. 

Stephanie

About saymore

saymore is a virtual mental wellness community that helps people with shared curiosities, challenges, and goals find each other. Built on trust, saymore users can build and join supportive communities, discuss nuanced topics in safe spaces, and explore helpful products and services. For more information, visit saymoreco.com or @saymoreco on Instagram.

Ok well this gets pretty heavy here we go. My 18 yo daughter went on a cruise with her father’s side of the family as a graduation present and had something pretty horrific happen to her. She was sexually assaulted by a 36 yo man. Pretending to be 22. Upon getting back I immediately get her into see a therapist to help her. She’s mentally a wreck now fast forward 2 weeks.  Now she’s going on dates and hanging out with guys she meets on a dating app. I talked to my therapist she said everyone processes things differently but I’m the one getting questions from everyone when she’s taking pictures of her self scantly dressed on Snapchat or instagram I . “Why is she’s dressing like that?” Why is going out with these random guys?” I believe my daughter when she said something happened I just want to help her get through this stage of grief. She’s masking her pain with keeping “busy”. Idk what to do. 

Many people find themselves in situations where they must do something even if it seems they can’t fully engage with their emotions. For instance, my life has undergone significant changes recently: I moved, rehomed one of my dogs, lost my grandmother, and experienced shifts in my work position. In many of these instances, I didn’t have a choice; the decisions were necessary. Consequently, I never critically examined how these changes affected me or acknowledged the overwhelmed I felt. The only reason I was aware I was overwhelmed was becasue my therapist pointed it out.  My therapist and I have been discussing my relationship with emotions, and I wonder if others utilize different strategies to help consider their feelings before it becomes too much to handle.. lmk what you think

saymore believes in anger that is used for good - we spotlighted Cammie on social media and wanted to make sure our community sees her too! As always... thanks for being here

I am pretty annoyed because I am currently not on insurance and living with my parents again. I need to renew my antidepressants but my doctor won't take my out of pocket situation (???) and I am getting nervous. Has anyone ever used anything else to get their meds?

In the big wide world of the internet, there is no topic untouched. A trend on social media of “I have never had an original experience” is both a relief and a panic. I find myself leaning towards relief at knowing I have had the same experience no matter how specific or how broad it is among people from all over the world. But in times of turmoil, isolation, and social anxiety, I think many of us do not see ourselves reflected in the internet, specifically the current state of social media platforms.

Being on the bottom half of the millennial generation I was over “self care” culture aka schedule a meditation and have a salad. I am what my doctor calls a high functioning depressed person, which I assume means no one would know I had a perpetually low level of serotonin. I took pride in that until I didn’t. I wanted people to know that I didn’t wake up like this, I carefully crafted my days, my routines to make sure I was set up to be on when I needed to be. To keep me out of the dread soaked evenings. That’s when I went looking for people like me. 

One of my most recent ‘unoriginal experiences’ was quitting my job, leaving my city, and moving back in with my parents for a much needed reset.  I only told people on a need to know basis but it quickly became a conversion starter - “Good for you” was the response I got the most, believe it or not. People started opening up to me about their stories, their crises, all backgrounds, and all ages. I felt so silly for ever thinking “No one knows what this feels like” when people kept seeing themselves in my eyes. It was exactly what I needed. 

How saymore came to be is here but the short version is I wanted a digital place where I could go and be curious. I wanted a space that looked like me but held nuance and room for me to ask questions. A space that lived in the gray and strayed from the mainstream. Honest storytelling. Genuine solutions. Questions with different answers. 

If we have never had an original experience and we want to know more, I want saymore to be that online platform, that digital safe space. If we are all connected more than we could ever see on social media, I wanted saymore to be the platform people go to. And maybe, just maybe, if we all remember how alike we are, how human we are, then we can really make this place (gestures vaguely) a better place for everyone.  

What’s an experience you’ve had that you felt like only happened to you? I think you’d be surprised…I encourage you to say more.

A few popular topics on saymore lately…

Just starting therapy? You're not alone here

Struggling being a mom these days? Some people feel that way too here.

Women don’t get to dream like men do… what do you think? Look here.

Want to chat about mental health and social media? Continue the conversation here.

Agree?

wish list starts now...

Advice as a person of color regardless of industry...what would you tell someone?

saymore spent some time talking to our poc peers during black history month and we'd like to hear more!

If you need a therapist, get one . It’s a sign of strength, not weakness. You owe it to yourself. It’s the loving thing you do for you. If you have a therapist, keep your appointments! I am basing this on experience, as I was in therapy for two years to get out of anabusive relationship. Some appointments I did not want to keep because I had nothing to talk about… Those appointments ended up being some of my most successful sessions! So keep your appointment, even when you don’t have an agenda. You just may surprise  yourself with new and powerful discovery. Hope this helps

Why am I always anxious or sad? Even when I have some stability, family is fine, I have a lover, friends. I feel like nothing is gonna fix me and that's just sad. And to be always sad is so boring to be honest.

I firmly believe the best people to speak on a topic are those that have lived it. 

In that same vein - I believe those are also the people that can help find solutions. 

Saymore is a community based platform for us. For the people by the people. As we continue to grow, I trust that all of us here will do our best to keep this space safe, supportive, and curious. 

Thank you for being here.

Shouldn't most friendships go both ways?

Let's rewind. Flashback to middle school. I'm starting to play a competitive sport and simultaneously have been kicked out of my friend group for reasons unknown. Competitive sports carried on throughout high school and having friends didn't exist. Friday nights were spent with my Dad at the town movie theater and then crying afterwards during pizza dinners due to having no friends and feeling bad for myself (looking back I am so thankful for this time with my Dad rather than hs parties in the woods). College happens, I'm on a sports team, and have an amazing roommate. We do everything together and she becomes my best friend at school. I also start to make other friends and realize people in my high school were just pieces of **** and it wasn't my fault I was alone. Graduation hits, and my roommate and I decide to live in different cities. I kept the texting up for the first year, was always the one to reach out first and was always inviting her to my city for visits and always organized the plans. It's been over two and 1/2 years since graduation and she has not once invited me to visit her city and she has visited me about 4 times now. She also never has made any effort to introduce me to any of her new friends and will leave me on read for weeks if not months. I know she still considers me a best friend but I can slowly feel us drifting apart. I have just given up reaching out at this point and know she will just pop back in every month or so, so I just wait. I know she is responding to other people in a timely manner but I just don't understand why I'm always on pause. Do some friendships just fizzle or is ok to fight for a friendship to stay strong? 

This past weekend me and my boyfriend decided to go to a break in our relationship so we can focus on ourselves he needs to focus on his classes and grades and I need to focus on going to college but he wants us to meet and date other people during the break and I asked will we getting back together and he said "Yeah if I prove to him that I have matured and have my stuff together so I'm thinking that will it be possible?