Real talk: I went off social media the day after the election results, both Instagram and TikTok. I didn’t delete my accounts—I just removed the apps from my phone. Still, it felt like a big deal. A cleansing. It’s been over a month now, and my screen time consists only of the NYT Games and texting my friends. Research shows social media can be addictive (here, here, and here, to point to a few), and I honestly feel like I deserve a sobriety chip or something. Without constant stimulation and doomscrolling, I truly feel lighter.

Around election time, I had just finished Kara Swisher’s new book, Burn Book. Swisher is one of the most well-known journalists in tech, and she’s been covering Silicon Valley since before Y2K. She’s seen it all. Most of the digital innovations we rely on today started with idealistic intentions ("we're here to change and connect the world") which, in hindsight, feels pretty ironic.

As a woman in the U.S. in 2025, encountering rage bait on social media doesn’t take much effort. The disgusting language constantly surrounding women, our bodies, and our rights is so inflammatory, it often feels unreal. As a words person, it really gets to me. I’ve always worked hard to be more careful with my words in a world that feels like it’s becoming more callous behind a screen. I understand the power and the danger of language.

But we know all of this already. Countless articles have been written on this topic. What I want to explore here is something different: Finding internet positivity. How can we do more of that? What I miss the most about my social media hiatus is the comment section. Not the angry rants, but the kind, funny, and uplifting comments. I miss the genuine connections I made, both with friends and strangers. The people who share compassion and positivity on the internet, and the comment sections that support them. Even with the peace I feel now, I notice the absence of this part of social media in my life the most.

A few things I did to accomplish this... 

1. Curated my feed - I kept that algorithm on a tight leash and only followed accounts that made me giggle. I recommend muting any and all other profiles that might just make you feel bad about yourself. 
2. This one isn't for everyone, but I love posting more interactive content on my stories…I would ask my followers/friends what new songs they were listening to, or recap my week in a silly way. I had random interactions that made me feel like I was in a community, not isolated. I also engaged more with their stuff too – a fun win-win situation!
3. And of course, I took social media breaks when the above wasn’t working for me. Go outside. See people in real life. Even watching a tv show is better than scrolling through the noise!

In a world where keeping you online is the business model, it incentivizes companies to feed you content that enrages you. The more upset you are, the more you engage. And the more engagement they get, the more ad revenue. The most ridiculous, inflammatory posts get the most attention because they’re so outrageously awful. For a while, I tried to curate my algorithm to showcase the compassionate side of the internet. But I had to keep it on a tight leash, and honestly, that just wasn’t sustainable for me.

After reading Swisher’s book about the men (yes, all men) who shaped the tech industry, I was fired up. One passage that particularly struck me was this:

“A truism began to form in my brain about the lack of women and people of color in the leadership ranks of tech: The innovators and executives ignored issues of safety not because they were necessarily awful, but because they had never felt unsafe a day in their lives. Their personal experiences informed the development of unfettered platforms. And in turn, this inability to understand the consequences of their inventions began to curdle the sunny optimism of tech that had illuminated the sector. Financial success was proof of their talents, which was like the old cliché of starting on third base and thinking you hit a home run.”

The internet is powerful and it matters what we do with it. Certain groups are more impacted than others. I thought the internet was the great equalizer and yet, these days it could not be more manipulative. Financial success is one thing, but there are other measurements of success and failure that outweigh the dollar signs.

Some days, I feel naive for still believing the internet can be good. But I’ve seen it do good so many times—in both my personal and professional life. It keeps connecting me to people who care. It brought me some wonderful mentors. It led me to start saymore. When you put yourself out there, when you ask for support or look for answers, you often find them. Someone else is always searching for the same thing. And in real life, when I talk to people, I still find so many who still feel isolated and alone. 

Like anything, the internet is what you make of it. The tech giants at the top thrive by feeding us the ugly, the upsetting, the divisive. We all miss the harmless dances and puppy videos, the lighter side of the internet. But there’s more to it than that. We can shape this endless digital landscape into something better. The original tech visionaries were right: they changed the world, they connected people. But the next step is about transforming that connection into something deeper, more meaningful. It’s about fostering compassion, offering solutions, and creating a space where people feel connected and supported. That’s the real power of the internet. Wherever possible, let's use the internet for good.

In 2025, I’m committed to keeping this corner of the Internet a space for good. What do you need from me to keep this mission alive? What are some ways you go about finding internet positivity and keeping yourselves sane? I’d love to hear in the comments.

Stephanie

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